One of the things it has done to me is to make me curl up and hide and not have any contact with the outside world. Including you lot, I'm afraid. I've just been feeling too raw. I'm starting to come out of my hole, but be gentle with me, and and try not to give me funny looks when I switch from mopey depressive wreck to frightening fixed-grin-happy and back again as quickly as a very quick thing.
One of the other things it has done to me is to motivate me. When you watch someone die too soon, watch them mourn for all the things they will never get to do, you can no longer escape your own mortality. The finite-ness of yourself. I will not allow any more time to go by while I faff about not following my ambitions to fruition. So, in between the periods of wanting to curl up like a little hedgehoggy ball and offer the world my spikes, I have been working. Really hard. Drumroll please.... Ruby in Blue is going into business. I have been sewing my little socks off producing piece after piece of hand-crafted gorgeousness. Watch this space people. There will soon be a shop, stocked with beautiful things for you to buy for your very own small people. I'd been planning to do it for ages, but this was the push I needed. I am excited.
Coincidentally, the other thing bereavement has done to me is make me very, very busy. I am now heavily involved in my dad's company, and I am currently on a steep learning curve, finding my footing in the world of finance. It's a big step and a huge opportunity. Challenging, different to what I'm used to, and exhilarating.
Oh, and lest we should forget about the small girl, she still needs feeding and cuddling and playing with and reading to and tickling. If anyone knows where I can purchase additional hours for my day, I'd be really grateful. She is still the personification of gorgeousness by the way, and makes me smile a thousand times a day, even when I am an inch away from crying. Just in case you were wondering.
So, lots going on, and very little spare time as a result. It never rains, hey? As a little offering by way of apology for being so absent lately and for the serious lack of actual sewing in recent posts, I would like to direct your attention to the brand new button over there on the right: Sew From Scratch, by the very wonderful and clever LiEr at Ikat Bag. This is the holy grail when it comes to drafting patterns, a whole series of posts that will take you all the way from how to get the measurements you need to having a perfectly fitted sloper for your subject. I'm serious. I have waited my entire sewing life for someone to put together something like this. Anyone who has ever wanted to know, really understand, how to draft a pattern from scratch and have it absolutely perfectly fit your child, then you will want to set aside a couple of hours, some chocolate and some wine, and sit down to read your way through this whole series. Trust me, you will be glad you did.
I'm going to try to post more often. Don't expect too much in the way of sewing because, well, because of all the things I just wrote about. But I will be trying to add recipes, and generally blog more. If you notice I've been quiet for a while come and poke me with a sharp stick. If someone could also bring me a cup of tea from time to time that would be really great too.